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I Don't Want a Divorce: A 90 Day Guide to Saving Your Marriage, by Dr. David Clarke, William G. Clarke
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What could be good about a bad marriage? The good news is, you can get beyond that old marriage and its destructive habits, and build a brand-new one with the same spouse. And you can do it in just 90 days, even if only one spouse is committed to change. Thousands of couples in marriages that are on the brink will never enter a therapist's office, and for others it's too late by the time they do agree to come. But for more than 20 years, David Clarke has seen marriages turn around in just 12 weeks. Here he takes his 90-day plan and presents it using humor, Scripture, and personal stories to help couples turn difficult marriages into great ones. Whether the issue is communication, the kids, negative attitudes, or even serious sin, Clarke's personalized approach will put readers on the road to a great marriage.
- Sales Rank: #34095 in Books
- Brand: Baker Pub Group/Baker Books
- Published on: 2009-09-01
- Released on: 2009-09-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.50" h x .65" w x 5.50" l, .70 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 288 pages
- ISBN13: 9780800734015
- Condition: New
- Notes: BRAND NEW FROM PUBLISHER! 100% Satisfaction Guarantee. Tracking provided on most orders. Buy with Confidence! Millions of books sold!
From the Back Cover
You can save your marriage
What could be good about a bad marriage? The good news is that you can get beyond that old marriage and its destructive habits and build a brand-new one with the same spouse. And you can do it in just 90 days, even if only one spouse is committed to change.
Thousands of couples in marriages that are on the brink will never enter a therapist's office--and for others it's too late by the time they do agree to come. But for more than 20 years, Dr. David Clarke has seen marriages turn around in just 12 weeks.
Now, with humor, Scripture, and personal stories, he shares his 90-day plan with you to help you turn a difficult marriage into a great one. Whether the issue is communication, the kids, negative attitudes, or even serious sin, Clarke's personalized approach will put you on the road to a great marriage.
Dr. David Clarke is a Christian psychologist, a speaker, and the author of eight books, including Kiss Me Like You Mean It. A graduate of Dallas Theological Seminary and Western Conservative Baptist Seminary, he has been in full-time private practice for over 20 years. He lives in Florida with his wife, Sandy, and their four children.
William G. Clarke has been a marriage and family therapist for over 30 years. A former Campus Crusade for Christ director and founder of the Marriage and Family Enrichment Center, he lives in Florida with his wife, Kathleen.
About the Author
Dr. David Clarke is a Christian psychologist, speaker, and the author of seven books, including Kiss Me Like You Mean It. A graduate of Dallas Theological Seminary and Western Conservative Baptist Seminary, he has been in full-time private practice for over 20 years. He lives in Florida. William G. Clarke has been a marriage and family therapist for over 30 years. A former Campus Crusade for Christ director and founder of the Marriage and Family Enrichment Center, he lives in Florida.
Most helpful customer reviews
58 of 63 people found the following review helpful.
Direct and Daring
By FaithfulReader.com
When a marriage reaches the point where the "D" word is tossed about like a hand grenade, it is hard to imagine that it can be saved, even though there are hundreds of books and programs that promise to do just that. The problem is that the efforts are usually one-sided; seldom do you see a couple in crisis calmly selecting a book on how to save their marriage. Yet, it has been Dr. David Clarke's experience that even the most hopeless of situations can be turned around with proper guidance and faith.
I DON'T WANT A DIVORCE is actually two guides in one. The first section is for couples who recognize that there are problems in their marriage and agree to work on them together. These problems can be a result of lost passion, arguments over children and finances that never get resolved, or some continuing sin. Dr. Clarke calls this "Dead Marriage Walking."
The second section is for those who have a spouse who is unwilling to change. Although the author refers to the unmovable "Stick" as the husband, it could just as easily be the wife. It is the partner who is content to maintain the status quo even though the status is miserable. Dr. Clarke writes: "Well, you married a Stick and now you're stuck." Yikes, not very compassionate there, Doc. But hold on. While Chapters 2 through 13 are loaded with wonderful ideas and exercises to help couples recover from a sickly marriage, it is in the latter chapters that the most difficult work gets done...when one of the partners is not willing to help.
Unlike many well-meaning Christian counselors, Dr. Clarke does not recommend that a woman married to a Stick stay stuck. He does not advise her to be submissive and to continue loving the Stick until he realizes the error of his ways and turns into a wonderful man of God. Instead, Dr. Clarke reveals the true nature of the Stick, and it is not pretty. The Stick can be emotionally abusive, selfish and a poor excuse for a father. And he will never change unless he has to.
Whether you are reading this book because you are married to a Stick or want to help someone who is, I DON'T WANT A DIVORCE will help you get to the very root of the problem and provide you with answers that you may never have thought of or been given by most Christian counselors. Direct and daring, Dr. Clarke clearly empowers the wife to wage the final battle for her marriage. He cites Biblical methods for confrontation and outlines the steps she needs to take. They are not easy steps, but unless the Stick has no redeeming qualities left in him, there are bound to be some changes from the status quo.
I DON'T WANT A DIVORCE is not the average "take two Scriptures and call me in the morning" Christian self-help guide. It is an exciting opportunity for those who have "tried everything" to get some real and lasting help.
--- Reviewed by Maggie Harding
19 of 22 people found the following review helpful.
I Don't Want a Divorce
By Amazon Customer
As a (retired) marital therapist and husband of over 38 years, I view the content of this book as sound both psychologically and theologically. I agree with the author that even if the reader is not a Christian, he/she can benefit from applying the prinicples outlined throughout the book. My primary concern is that I wonder how many individuals and couples are spiritually and emtionally capable of navigating the prescribed exercises without the assitance of a therapist or discerning pastor. Also, I don't know what research supports this approach. In any event, this book provides a model for dealing with marital problems ranging from mild to severe. I parituclarly admire the author's stance on holding spouses who have commmitted "serious sins" which have severely impacted the marriage (e.g. adultery, addiction related behaviors) accountable in a highly structured way.
Many marital self-help books and marital therapy textbooks have exercises designed to enhance caring behaviors, conflict resolution skills, and so on. In comparison, I'd say the exercises in this book - some are better than others - are overall worthwhile. Most of the sample written exercises reflected emotional maturity and insight which I suspect few people exhbit in the midst of martial turmoil. If you're not able to work through the marital issues outlined by Dr. Clarke on your own, again, consider enlisting the aid of a competent helping professional who shares your values. In turn, that professional would likely be comfortable with the basic approach outlined in this book, though he/she may not choose to adhere strictly to the book's approach
19 of 23 people found the following review helpful.
worth every penny!!!
By A. Negron
So I work at a local bookstore in my town. I came across this book and it was just after my husband came home drunk and physically abused me. My husband is a wonderful man and has never done anything like that before. And he's been doing everything possible to get the help he needs.
We weren't sure if we could save our marriage. So I was stocking the shelves and I saw this book. I figured what the heck, I'll check it out. I was desperate for answers to save our marriage.
This book is amazing. The authors writing is so modern, relaxed, and easy to get pulled in. After reading the first 5 pages, I literally thought, was this book written specifically about US!?!? They help with all different levels and situations. From intimacy issues in the bedroom and romance to abusers and critical cases.
My husband has decided to read it with me too. We're only a quarter way in and it's already helped us a LOT. It teaches a 12 week step by step guide to building the foundation to your marriage.
It has definitely been a useful tool in rebuilding the trust that was lost with his alcoholism. I would recommend it to anyone who is on a slippery slope with their spouse. It is addressed to both genders of the couple and even if you're just looking to make things between you even a LITTLE better, it helps with that too.
So glad I bought this book!!!
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