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Uncovered: Revealing the Secrets of a Sexy Marriage, by Susie Davis
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They say a good marriage is a lot of workbut Susie Davis says it can be a lot of fun. In Uncovered, Davis shares the secrets of understanding a husband's needs and meeting them using biblical wisdom, practical sense, and a bit of feminine charm. With wit and realistic advice, she shows women how tounderstand the physical, emotional, social, and spiritual needs of their husbandsfind lasting fulfillment through loving their man maintain an enjoyable and stable relationshipprioritize their marriagesFocusing on areas such as sex, desire, money, dating, and selfimage, Davis shows women how a happy and sexually satisfying marriage is not as much work as they might think. Each chapter also includes a section called The Male Room in which married men discuss their feelings about their wives and marriages.
- Sales Rank: #1651967 in Books
- Published on: 2010-05-01
- Released on: 2010-05-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.50" h x .44" w x 5.00" l, .44 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 176 pages
From the Back Cover
Having a happy and sexually satisfying marriage isn't work--it's fun!
Uncovered shares the secrets of understanding your husband and making your marriage your top priority using biblical wisdom, practical sense, and a bit of feminine charm. With plenty of wit and realistic advice, Susie Davis shows you
how to get over your naked self and love your body
what "speed sex" is (hint: it doesn't mean breaking records)
the importance of letting your husband be a man
how to move from roommate to playmate
and much more
Each chapter also includes a top secret section called The Male Room where real married men reveal their true feelings about their wives and marriages.
If you're ready to improve your relationship--and have fun--with the most important person in your life, this is the book for you.
"Wow. Uncovered is just that--honest, open, gut-level talk about putting the sexy back in marriage. This is not simply a book about sex--it's a thoughtful and brave look at making your marriage truly healthy."--Ronne, married to Brad 13 years
"I loved Susie's practical approach to marriage, the humorous stories, and the insightful comments from real husbands on their real views and needs. This is a fantastic read not only for those struggling in their marriage, but also those who already have a great marriage."--Joni, married to Kevin 13 years
"Uncovered sparked a fire in me that I didn't even know had gone out. This book has changed my attitude and my approach toward my husband."--Julie, married to David 14 years
Susie Davis is the author of several books, including Parenting Your Teen and Loving It, and is a popular retreat and conference speaker. She is founder and director of Susie Davis Ministries (www.susiedavisministries.com) and has a passion for helping others develop God-centered relationships.
About the Author
Susie Davis is the author of several books, including Parenting Your Teen and Loving It, and is a popular retreat and conference speaker. She is founder and director of Susie Davis Ministries (www.susiedavisministries.com) and has a passion for helping others develop God centered relationships. With her husband, Will, she co-founded Austin Christian Fellowship in Austin, Texas, where he serves as senior pastor and she frequently teaches. They have three children.
Most helpful customer reviews
7 of 8 people found the following review helpful.
Wonderful book on marriage and intmacy. Read it as a couple.
By Holly
My husband and I read the book together. This is our conversational review:
A: So my first thought when Holly suggested this book was "oh my - what kind of book is this, and what is she trying to suggest by suggesting it?!"
H: I had no ulterior motives in suggesting it. I had the opportunity to review it and it looked interesting.
A: Yeah - because every husband knows that wives never ever have an ulterior motive, or an underlying thought :). So I read the book first, and was honestly rather surprised. Not knowing the author or having read anything from her previously, I was rather concerned that this was either going to be a man-bashing book, or something rather tawdry, more of a Dr. Ruth than a Dr. Laura-type of book. Thankfully it falls more into a Dr. Laura mold.
H: Why does there have to be an ulterior motive to everything? Honestly, the book looked interesting. That's all. I wasn't sure either, if it would be a how-to type of book or a relationship book. I was quite pleasantly surprised as I read it. True, it did have Dr. Laura-type tones, but, for the most part, it was more a book on how to communicate in a marriage, more than anything.
A: True, there was a lot on communication, but there was also a great section at the end of each chapter where a group of men got to comment/answer questions about that chapter. I found this really interesting because it confirmed for me a lot of what I was thinking, both from the good point and from the occasionally concerned point.
H: I liked the 'Male Room' sections too. I found them rather enlightening. Somewhat predictable, but enlightening.
A: Predictable to you maybe, but as a guy (hopefully a decent one) we don't sit around discussing our thoughts and feelings about our intimate lives, so we don't often really know what is normal for a guy's thoughts, and what is just us! It's good to hear the perspective of other men and realize that the little voices inside your head seem to be in their heads as well.
H: Fair enough. Do you think the book was geared more towards female readers or was it written for both men and women?
A: Definitely both. I think, and I'm guessing here, it was probably written more for women than men, because I found myself quite often being in agreement with the concepts presented. That said, I also found out things that I didn't know, and some of these were really surprising.
H: Like what?
A: That at a biochemical level men and women have a different chemical reaction to stress. I don't think it's news to anyone who has been married for a while that when life gets stressful men want intimacy more, and women want it less, but actually finding out that this is due to testosterone chemical bonding differences was an eye opener for me.
Basically, when men are stressed testosterone floats around more freely, and so we want intimacy more. When a woman is stressed, the testosterone gets bound up to another chemical (can't remember which) and so a woman's desire for intimacy goes down. So just when life is stressful, we end up being at two different ends of the spectrum!
H: I thought her solutions to that particular issue were logical/obvious: try to get more sleep, say no to outside obligations, try to want intimacy anyway, etc. In theory, that is easier said than done, but it is definitely something important to think on and to work towards. I think I found the "Difference Between Cats and Dogs" section most enlightening. Her descriptions were dead on and while the information wasn't new, it was certainly presented in a way that made me think more.
A: Care to illuminate on that???
H: Just that she compared men and women to dogs and cats, which sounds really bad when put that way. Mostly, the comparison was that women are hard to read and can be prickly and finicky in their thoughts, feelings and behaviors, especially when dealing with intimacy. Whereas, men are loyal and willing and always ready for intimacy. I think one of the phrases is "Women need a reason, men just need a place" or something like that. I'm probably not expressing it well, but it was a great chapter and one that I found illuminating and quite true.
A: I agree. I think most women would say that their husbands are "always ready" which isn't necessarily true, but compared to women I think it's a fair generalization to make. There was a great answer in the `Male Room" on that section , where one of the men answered that for women "intimacy is an idea" where for men it's a "biological necessity". I like that way he phrased that, because often in popular culture a man's need for intimacy is seen as pestering, or is couched in a derogatory tone, but for men intimacy is something that's wired into us.
Imagine if society started treating a mother's desire to comfort her crying child that same way that men's desire for intimacy is treated. Women are biologically programmed to have maternal feelings and to them, the sound of their crying child flips switches in their brain that are very hard to ignore.
A husband watching his wife get undressed (not necessarily for intimacy, just at the end of the day) flips switches in our heads, and yet that's often treated as `nasty, base or just being a man' by the world in general. A woman who can understand that about her husband, and treat that with respect is a blessing to her husband, and a wonderful wife to have.
Note that I said `respect' - that doesn't mean to acquiesce every time her husband wants intimacy (because otherwise nothing would ever get done) but to understand it from the viewpoint that men are who we are, and you can either work with that, or fight it.
H: I can't disagree. (And, note that I am not asking you to clarify where I fit into the `respect' part of that response!) I think that there is too much man bashing in our society today, especially in the media and every time I see a commercial or a film that puts down husbands and fathers, I get angry.
One of the things that I appreciated about Susie's book was that she talks often about the differences in men and women. Differences that are good and necessary and put into us by God. Society gives such conflicting messages to both men and women and what our roles should be.
A: I totally agree. If you look at half of the shows out there, women are encouraged to look sexy, to have great make up, dress like they are walking the streets and act provocatively to attract men, but then when we as men react to that, our desire is despised as debase, despicable and downright disgusting. Talk about mixed messages.
A: So do you think the book is worth buying?
H: I do. I think the book is definitely worth buying and I think that it is a book that should be read as a couple and then discussed. You?
A: Yes - the discussion part is the most important one from my perspective. I would suggest that as a husband and wife you read the chapter separately, then find time to discuss it together in a way that is not judgmental and allows each side to express their thoughts without having to defend them.
----------------------------
Available May 2010 at your favorite bookseller from Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group. Thanks to Baker Publishing for the opportunity to review this book.
9 of 11 people found the following review helpful.
Playful and Helpful Marital Advice!
By Andrea Schultz
No matter whether one has been married for a month or several decades, there is always room for improvement in the marriage relationship. `Uncovered: Revealing the Secrets of a Sexy Marriage' by Susie Davis is a book which, with practicality and humor, provides lots of helpful tips on how to grow closer.
This is the synopsis of this book:
Having a happy and sexually satisfying marriage isn't work - it's fun!
Uncovered shares the secrets of understanding your husband and making your marriage your top priority using biblical wisdom, practical sense, and a bit of feminine charm. With plenty of wit and realistic advice, Susie Davis shows you
* how to get over your naked self and love your body
* what "speed sex" is (hint: it doesn't mean breaking records)
* the important of letting your husband be a man
* and much more
Each chapter also includes a top secret section called The Male Room where real married men reveal their true feelings about their wives and marriage.
If you're ready to improve your relationship - and have fun - with the most important person in your life, this is the book for you.
Here is the biography of the author:
Susie Davis is the author of several books, including Parenting Your Teen and Loving It, and is a popular retreat and conference speaker. She is founder and director of Susie Davis Ministries and has a passion for helping others develop God-centered relationships. She is also a radio personality on the River in Austin. With her husband, Will, she co-founded Austin Christian Fellowship in Austin, Texas, where he serves as senior pastor and she frequently teaches. They have three children.
I also discovered by reading this book that she is married to Will Davis Jr.; I will be reviewing his book, `Pray Big: The Power of Pinpoint Prayers,' soon.
In the Introduction, Susie asks her readers to pledge to take action:
So before you read even one more word, I ask you to pledge that you will do at least half of the suggestions in this book. (Honestly, if you'll just add a little speed sex to your marriage you could probably stop at that one.). But even if you can't promise now, please know that because you haven't closed this book yet and you are reading this intro - you are already that much closer to actually doing something to improve your marriage. (p. 14)
In the chapter entitled `Superman,' Susie makes the point that men have been emasculated over the years - and their wives are often the ones that cause that to happen:
...how many times have I unintentionally attempted to warp my husband's masculinity by mandating safety, passivity, and rule keeping? How many times have I squelched his dream? Asked him to put down the metaphorical weapons of battle? How many times have I asked him to be nice and not be dangerous? How many times have I failed to let my man be one of the boys? (p. 48)
Susie goes on to explain that wives have a great deal of power over their husbands:
What you may not realize is that as a woman, you have a tremendous amount of power over the man you're married to. In many ways, you hold the key to avoiding what [C.S.] Lewis calls "the castration." In millions of little ways, you can either affirm your husband's masculinity or you can crush it. I truly believe if wives really understood the depth of power they possess purely by passion, proximity, and physicality, they would feel secure in understanding their worth and value as women. If we could just grasp the fundamental issue of how relationship and marriage impact a man, we would stand tall and marvel in amazement, wielding our influence for positive change. (p. 49)
That statement alone is worth the price of this book! Wives need to respect their husbands; it's biblically based and so important to the psyche of their husband.
Susie shares the following statistic about how we talk to ourselves:
...the truth is, you send about 66,000 messages to yourself every day.... Psychologists tell us that on the average, you and I send 66,000 internal messages daily. And the startling thing is that about 70 percent of those messages are negative. That's a heck of a lot of self smack-talk. (p. 57)
We need to love ourselves in order to extend love to our husband. We need to accept ourselves, and adjust our attitudes toward the positive side:
Girlfriends, sexy started as a frame of mind. It's born from knowing you're appealing. And in this case, not to the masses, but to the one man who matter most: your husband. And the fact of the matter is, once your man is touching you - should he be a good man who is full of the best kind of love - he ceases to focus on how you look and begins to think of the pleasure of making you feel good. And when that is going on, it should make you feel immensely sexy in the one and only place sexy belongs: marriage. (p. 62)
When we love God, we should accept that He made us in His image:
When you love God, you don't smack talk him, right? And certainly, if you truly love your neighbor, you wouldn't talk negatively about them. Well, then, the same is true for you too. If you love yourself, you should keep from letting all that negative self-talk roll around in your head. It's just not fitting to say hateful things about someone you love. And while we all understand that and probably think it's a smart idea, in practice it can get a little difficult. (p. 63)
In terms of the materialistic society in which we live, Susie suggests we raise our expectations about the life we want to live, and the `stuff' we surround ourselves with:
...perhaps raising expectations might be smarter. And I don't mean that you want for more where stuff is concerned. I am thinking that you want for more where your relationship is concerned - raise those expectations. Because if it's true that Americans are more prosperous - and more depressed - than ever, it just stands to reason that maybe we're looking for happiness in all the wrong places. (p. 88)
Susie suggests that we develop a mission statement for our marriage. There are great reasons for doing so:
The idea and implementation of a marriage mission will likely do a few interesting things. First, it will kill the hording, stuff-whore mentality in marriage. Second, it will inspire you to think big and to consider impact. And third, it will also help you see a truth that smacks Will and me in the face daily: people are hurting more than we know. (p. 92)
Susie states that grace and mercy are important in marriage:
It's the gift and beauty of unearthed love that sets apart a marriage that works from one that doesn't. Because in the end, there's no perfect marriage...only perfected lovers. Lovers who understand grace and mercy. The kind who, in a transcendent way, "say grace" over their whole relationship, their whole life.
Many days - more than I care to confess or even imagine - grace is what keeps Will and me together. And though that may sound startling or terribly unromantic, it's the most freeing thing I've ever experienced. To know that I'm loved unconditionally is an earthly taste of the Divine. And for that, I'm implicitly and undeniably grateful. (p. 158)
This book is coming out at a perfect time; June weddings are very popular! This book is perfect for both men and women, both newlyweds and those married for decades. There are questions - `Uncovering the Truth' - at the end of each chapter that can be answered by individuals or discussed with your spouse.
I really liked this book. Susie has a fun, conversational style of writing; she seems like someone you'd like to spend time with at Starbuck's! She provides a lot of valuable information for married people that will help them grow closer if they implement some of her ideas. I appreciate the pointers that she includes in this book, and her transparency in revealing the struggles - and the joys - in her own marriage.
Available May 2010 at your favorite bookseller from Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group. This book was provided by Revell Publishers for review purposes.
Reviewed by Andrea Schultz - Ponderings by Andrea - [...]
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Pretty Good.
By bld424
I actually like reading this author's blog more than reading this book, but I do like the content of the book and find it helpful. The author does write in a casual, conversation style, which might put some off or might prove to be easier to read for others! It was worth the purchase price, and I will pass it along to another married woman. I won't buy another copy for my shelf though - this is a good one time read.
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