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When you get married, you expect your relationship to be a partnership in which you make decisions and face the world together, united. But often a husband's perspective and a wife's perspective on the same issue can be very different and unity in decision making can be tough. Should spouses take turns getting their way? Should they compromise? Can they avoid making decisions altogether? Dr. Harley says there's a better way--a way in which both partners get what they want and believe is best every time.
In He Wins, She Wins, Dr. Harley introduces the revolutionary concept of joint agreement in marriage that keeps both husband and wife on equal footing and equally satisfied. This win-win model for negotiation starts with a simple rule: Never do anything without enthusiastic agreement between you and your spouse. Dr. Harley walks couples through the five most common sources of conflict in marriage, (friends and family, career and time management, finances, children, and sex), applying the joint agreement rule in every situation. And he teaches readers how to resolve conflicts the right way, so that not only are those conflicts resolved once and for all but the couple's love for one another actually grows and is sustained for the rest of their lives.
Anyone who has been married long enough to have a disagreement will benefit from this unique new book from everyone's favorite marriage doctor.
- Sales Rank: #231591 in Books
- Brand: Brand: Revell
- Published on: 2013-10-01
- Released on: 2013-10-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.00" h x .44" w x 6.00" l, .77 pounds
- Binding: Hardcover
- 192 pages
- Used Book in Good Condition
From the Inside Flap
Have conflicts and disagreements been piling up between you and your spouse? Do you find yourself wondering when it's all just going to boil over?
If so, this book is for you.
With laser-like precision, Dr. Harley gets to the heart of marital conflicts and offers a time-tested way to resolve them. Then he walks you through the five most common sources of conflict in marriage:
· friends and family
· career and time management
· finances
· children
· sex
Finally, he shows you how to overcome obstacles to resolving marital conflicts the right way.|Willard F. Harley, Jr., is a nationally acclaimed clinical psychologist, a marriage counselor, and the bestselling author of numerous books, including His Needs, Her Needs; Five Steps to Romantic Love; Love Busters; and Surviving an Affair. Harley's most popular book, His Needs, Her Needs, is now available as a video curriculum for churches and small groups. His website, www.marriagebuilders.com, offers practical solutions to almost any marital problem. He and his wife, Joyce, host a daily radio call-in show, Marriage Builders Radio, that can be heard on radio stations nationwide andon his website.
From the Back Cover
Every conflict in your marriage is an opportunity to fall more deeply in love.
You've probably heard a lot of advice on how to resolve conflicts in your marriage. What you may not know is that if a resolution comes only in order to keep the peace, it's no resolution at all. Marriage expert Willard F. Harley, Jr., says there's a better way.
What's different about the He Wins, She Wins approach is the ultimate goal--for you and your spouse to grow in your love for each other. This win-win model for negotiation starts with a simple rule: Never do anything without an enthusiastic agreement between you and your spouse.
Think that sounds impossible? In this book, Dr. Harley will show you how it's been done in his marriage of over fifty years--and in the marriages of the thousands of couples he's counseled. He'll explain the art of marital negotiation, show you how to resolve common conflicts the right way, and help you overcome these common obstacles:
· emotional reactions are preventing calm discussion
· neither of you wants to talk about an issue
· one or both of you are indecisive
· one of you is happy with the status quo
· being enthusiastic about anything doesn't seem possible
And above all, he'll show you how every decision you make together will increase your love for each other.
About the Author
Willard F. Harley, Jr. is a nationally acclaimed clinical psychologist, a marriage counselor, and the bestselling author of numerous books, including His Needs, Her Needs; Five Steps to Romantic Love; Love Busters; and Draw Close. Harley's most-loved book, His Needs, Her Needs, is now available as a video curriculum for churches and small groups. His popular website, www.marriagebuilders.com, offers practical solutions to almost any marital problem.
Most helpful customer reviews
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful.
Necessary Reading for Marriage!
By Amazon Customer
I have always felt that "His Needs, Her Needs" by Willard Harley Jr. should be required reading for marriage. I now feel the same way about his newest book, "He Wins, She Wins: Learning the Art of Marital Negotiation."
At some point after your wedding, the honeymoon phase will end. And there will inevitably be fights between you and your spouse. But learning how to end up with a win/win agreement can be tough. When a couple is dating, it is normal for one of the individuals to give sacrificially when it comes to agreeing on something. They may give up what they want because they are still in the romantic stages of their relationship. But eventually this phase will end. And when it does, spouses tend to be more selfish with what they want. Suddenly the win/lose agreements they have been making this whole time seem much less appealing and the spouse begins to seek out their own desires versus making their spouse happy.
Willard Harley Jr. explains how to negotiate with your spouse and end up with a win/win agreement every time. He also points out the types of negotiating that are harmful to your relationship. In addition, we also read about the importance of the Love Bank and how important it is to have 1,000+ deposits in your spouse's love bank.
I would highly recommend this book as well as his previous book, "His Needs, Her Needs."
I received this book for free from Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group to give my honest unbiased opinion.
**He Wins, She Wins will be available October 2013 through Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group.**
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
Great marriage book - practical and easy to read!
By Amazon Customer
"He Wins, She Wins: Learning the Art of Marital Negotiation," written by Willard F. Harley Jr., is a book that has a win-win concept and will help a couple grow more in love with each other.
This book is divided into three main sections:
1. The Art of Marital Negotiation
2. Resolving Common Marital Conflicts with Negotiation
3. Common Problems with Marital Conflict Resolution
It is explained that conflicts are a part of any marriage. However, some conflicts are never resolved in a way that both sides are content and therefore, it will continue to be a conflict or it will resurface from time to time. By learning how to negotiate in a way that both sides win, then the conflicts will be resolved.
This book is filled with real-life examples, written in a straight-forward, easy to read and understand language. Obstacles to resolving conflicts are included as well and how to work through them and ultimately overcome them. There are worksheets and questionnaires included at the end of the book which further help make this book an excellent resource.
This is a book that will have you analyzing your own relationship and thinking about the areas in which it can be improved upon. Also, it will also help you to feel as if you are not alone and reassured that "real-life" couples also struggle with similar issues. This is a great book that will help strengthen a marriage with practical steps and tips.
"Available October 2013 at your favorite bookseller from Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group."
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
Added to my collection of great marriage resources
By Tami ~ thismomsdelight
Eighteen years and still fighting...
Hubby and I have been married 18 years. We've been through rough patches. Then, as the kiddos got older we went through a season of bliss. We had more free time and we really connected as a couple.
Then, an unexpected surprise came out of nowhere. Parents of teenagers, we found out we were expecting a baby! We love baby A., but as with every baby, our free time went bye-bye!
We have been fighting -- nothing physical, just arguments and unresolved issues. We make up. We fight some more. It's an exhausting game of ping pong.
So comes along He Wins, She Wins: Learning the Art of Marital Negotiation. I read that book with hopes of finding a solution.
I related to the wife in some of the situations presented in the book.
I felt bad for the husband (and my own) when I heard `my story' being told by the author. What was I doing to my poor husband?
I felt a little embarrassed having my own techniques, which don't work anyway, shared in the book as marriage destroyers.
Yet, the author illustrated these often common scenarios to show us that we are not alone and then offer exhausted couples a solution.
The author sounds very convincing and I'm ready to put the book to work. My husband doesn't like to read and will tune me out if I'm long winded. So, I plan to text excerpts of the book to him -- just enough to get his attention. Hopefully, he'll see things from my perspective and also see that I am trying to do my part in getting back to that marital love boat we once were on, or at least become a better, more enjoyable life partner.
Awesome book, Mr. Harley!
I received this book as part of the Revell Blog Tour in exchange for my honest review. Your copy is available October 2013 at your favorite bookseller from Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group.
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