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Forgiving Our Parents, Forgiving Ourselves: The Definitive Guide, by Dr. David Stoop
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In this revised and updated edition of the well-loved classic-which includes new stories, statistics, and more practical help-a new generation can move beyond failure to forgiveness by understanding the roots of their pain.
- Sales Rank: #601142 in Books
- Brand: Baker Pub Group/Baker Books
- Published on: 2011-03-21
- Released on: 2011-03-21
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.50" h x .62" w x 5.50" l, .87 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 272 pages
About the Author
Dr. David Stoop is the founder and director of the Center for Family Therapy. He is the author of more than twenty-five books, including Forgiving the Unforgivable. David and his wife, Jan, have coauthored books and lead worldwide seminars and retreats on topics such as marital relationships, parenting, men's issues, fathering, and forgiveness. They have three sons and six wonderful grandchildren. Learn more at www.DrStoop.com.
Most helpful customer reviews
73 of 73 people found the following review helpful.
A path to healing
By A Customer
I always thought I was the one in the family who was *not* in denial - the one who called things as they saw them, but this book showed me that I too, had been in denial.
I'd hit parts of this book that were so upsetting or so revealing that I had to set the book aside for a time and think deeply about what I'd read.
And it relieved me of tons of guilt and shame I'd carried for years. Quite frankly, this book was an answer to prayer, but it took some wading through the mire and muck to get to the fresh, pure waters.
After reading one chapter and doing an exercise, I recalled a painful incident when a family friend harmed me and I told my father about it and he didn't even want to hear about it. My father accused me of being a liar.
Subsequently, I made some poor choices in life and I'd always kind of wondered how I'd wandered down that bad path. Stoop's book helped me connect some of the random looking dots and see what happened, why it happened, and why it is okay to forgive myself and forgive the others who let me down.
First and foremost, this is a book about healing. The very last chapter though, is rich. It's a section you'll want to read again and again.
58 of 59 people found the following review helpful.
Excellent Book
By A Customer
I bought this book after reading another by David Stoop and thought this would be helpful with guiding me through forgiveness from a Christian perspective. It was better than I imagined. The first half is back ground information on identifying yourself as an adult child of a dysfunctional family. The second half if the hands-on steps to forgiveness including a clear understanding of the true goal of forgiveness - your own peace of mind. I felt the most helpful thing for readers to know is Dr. Stoop's position on NOT forgetting. Many people have a big road block to forgiving because they don't want to let anyone "get away" with what they've done or they don't want to forget. He explains that forgiveness leading to your own peace of mind is possible without "giving in," without forgetting and without reconciling. I would imagine that non-Christian readers would have difficulty agreeing with much of his Christian based views. Overall, extremely sympathetic and helpful in releasing your demons and getting on with your own happiness.
40 of 41 people found the following review helpful.
Informative & helpful. A very real & thorough self-help book
By A Customer
I chose this book based on it's title. I was not disappointed either. Though I didn't expect much, I came away with more than I could ever imagine. Throughout the book you get to see examples where family dysfunction was prevelant and an analysis following. Once I picked up the book, I continued to read until I was finished. I have to admit, there is a bit of homework they give you, research on your family tree- so that you can sort of track the past abusive trail up to the current day. My thought is that it gives you a better understanding of how you fit into the equation. I was not up to that since it does take a bit "asking questions" from family members that may be evasive. So I skipped the little project chapter. Overall, I liked the content, the therapeutic tone and skilled advice given. It eased my mind and gave me directions and guidance in many areas. Best of Luck with your book search in this area!
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