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Born to Win: Keeping Your Firstborn Edge without Losing Your Balance, by Dr. Kevin Leman
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Firstborns are the natural movers, shakers, and leaders of the world. They can accomplish anything they set their minds to. They're the high achievers, the benchmark setters, the business moguls, the concert violinists, the heads of the P.T.A. . But if they're out of balance, they can be overly perfectionistic, driven, and critical. They can become controllers (everything has to go their way) or pleasers (they exhaust themselves in meeting the demands of others). Now available in trade paper, Born to Win identifies the qualities of firstborns . . . and there's a catch. Just because someone is the firstborn child in the family doesn't mean they'll have a firstborn personality. They can be third in a group of four siblings and still have a firstborn personality! Dr. Kevin Leman reveals why. He helps firstborns understand their natural advantages while becoming aware of their weaknesses and learning how to sidestep them for the highest level of personal success at home, at school, at work, and in relationships. And he helps those who live or work with firstborns to understand them better. This fun, informative, and practical book will keep readers engaged and provide many "aha!" moments.
- Sales Rank: #1111944 in Books
- Published on: 2011-10-12
- Released on: 2009-10-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.50" h x .72" w x 5.50" l, .74 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 286 pages
- ISBN13: 9780800732622
- Condition: New
- Notes: BRAND NEW FROM PUBLISHER! 100% Satisfaction Guarantee. Tracking provided on most orders. Buy with Confidence! Millions of books sold!
From Publishers Weekly
What do Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie have in common? And how do they share that certain something with Ulysses S. Grant? They're all first-borns, and in this breezy book, psychologist and birth order expert Leman delves into how birth order influences the first-born personality and upends some conventional thinking (e.g., only children and the first child of either sex is automatically a first-born—hence Jolie who has an elder brother can be classified as such) and illustrates first-borns' classic traits: reliability, perfectionism, a penchant for list making and black-and-white thinking, some social introversion but strong leadership abilities. Gender, parental treatment and family size are just as important as chronology, argues the author, who does an admirable job balancing the hope and hype of familial ranking and integrates compelling theories about how schooling and relationships work to address how first-borns can maximize desirable personality traits and minimize liabilities. His spirited and exceptionally easy read will appeal to those readers interested in understanding better whence they came and how to move forward with success. (Sept.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
From the Inside Flap
How can you put your firstborn tendencies to work for you? The Firstborn Advantage reveals the secrets. In this fascinating book, bestselling author, humorist, and psychologist Dr. Kevin Leman shows you how to • take advantage of being a firstborn • overcome the perfectionism that holds you back • learn how to bounce back when you fail • find balance in your work and relationships • find out what you really want from life • motivate your children to do well in school without doing their homework for them • relate to others who are not firstborns--a spouse, a friend, a co-worker Whether you are the firstborn in your family or the functional firstborn, The Firstborn Advantage can help you win every time, all the time, without sacrificing your dreams in the process. Dr. Leman shows you how it's done.
From the Back Cover
Firstborns Were Born to Win
You're driven. You have big plans and dreams. You demand a lot out of yourself, and it pays off.
As a natural mover and shaker of the world, you're the benchmark setter and the award winner. You've always done what's expected of you--and yes, you're the one who got in trouble for what your younger sibling did.
Being firstborn comes with a high price, and no one is harder on you than you. But here's a news flash: it doesn't have to be that way. You can learn to use your firstborn skills to your best advantage in every area of life. In this fascinating book, bestselling author, humorist, and psychologist Dr. Kevin Leman shows you how it's done.
Whether you're the firstborn in your family or the functional firstborn, Born to Win can help you win every time, all the time, without sacrificing your dreams in the process.
Guaranteed.
Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known psychologist, humorist, and New York Times bestselling author of more than 35 books, including The Birth Order Book, Have a New Kid by Friday, and Have a New Husband by Friday. He is former consulting psychologist for Good Morning America and a frequent guest on Fox & Friends, The View, Today, The Early Show, and Focus on the Family. He and his firstborn wife, Sande, live in Tucson, Arizona. They have five children and two grandchildren.
Most helpful customer reviews
11 of 12 people found the following review helpful.
A great resource for anyone interested in how birth order affects their friends, family or workplace
By FaithfulReader.com
What's your birth order? Were you a firstborn, middle child or the baby of the family? Were you an only child? No matter what your birth order, odds are that it's affecting you more than you realize. In THE FIRSTBORN ADVANTAGE, bestselling author Dr. Kevin Leman helps firstborns make the very most of their birth order. Here's the fascinating twist in Leman's assessment: birth order not only deals with the ordinal position of a child but also his or her functional birth position. This means that even if you aren't the oldest in a family, you still may have firstborn tendencies that affect your outlook and approach to life.
Leman points to a variety of variables that play into birth order. For example, if you're from a large family, it's not just the oldest who is a firstborn; there are others with firstborn tendencies. The reasoning is that in a large family of six or eight or more children, the family divides down into subunits. So among the three or four youngest children, one may assume the role as the oldest.
In addition, gender can play a role in firstborn tendencies. Leman writes: "You don't have to be a rocket scientist to realize that if there are four boys and one girl in your family, there's something unique about one of your kids." He points out that both the oldest male and female could have firstborn traits. An age gap of five or more years can also create firstborn traits in a non-firstborn. Other factors that can influence these traits are blended families and significant mental or physical differences among children.
Why is this so important? Because even if you're not a firstborn, you may have firstborn traits. If so, this book is for you! In an easy-to-read manner, Leman takes a good look at the firstborn personality. He notes that firstborns are natural achievers, task-oriented and ready to get things done. But all that drivenness can have a downside as it affects a firstborn's ability to build and maintain healthy relationships. Another struggle is criticism and becoming a flaw picker. Leman offers practical tips and advice on how to turn these weaknesses into strengths. In addition, he encourages firstborns to use their natural abilities in school and at work to their advantage.
One of the best features of the book is that Leman writes as if he's really for --- not against --- the firstborns. He writes with a hope and enthusiasm for firstborns and gives them practical tools on how to get the most out of life. Throughout, he draws on insights from the First Born Girls Social Club and its founder, Laura Carter, as well as stories of firstborns.
Overall, this is a great resource for anyone interested in how birth order affects their friends, family or workplace. Though you may not be a firstborn birth, you may be one by the function in your family, which makes THE FIRSTBORN ADVANTAGE a valuable resource for readers of all ages and birth orders.
--- Reviewed by Margaret Oines
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful.
Now I get it!
By irish girl
I'm married to a super first born who always had me wondering about why he does what he does. After reading this book, I have a better understanding about him and how he operates. I see things differently now, after gaining more insight into what makes him so organized & business-like. I appreciated this book for what it offered me. Although I am the middle child in my family, I bought this book to help me understand my spouse and it really did. Great read. Funny. Insightful.
10 of 11 people found the following review helpful.
A Great Read
By Stacy Harp, Bible News Radio
I have heard Dr. Leman on numerous occasions on the radio, and after one such interview I decided to purchase a copy of his latest book The First Born Advantage.
This book is an easy and great read. It will offer you insight as to the weaknesses and strengths of being a first born child. It will encourage you and make you think, and most importantly, notice the people around you who are first born.
Buy it, you won't be disappointed.
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